Cats Have 9 Lives
by Pandagirl820
Summary: Where a character of my creation based off of me manages to offend just about everyone in Hueco Mundo. Based in story arc where Orihime gets kidnapped and saved. NO CHANGES IN PLOT; NO ROMANCE! Finally, sorry chapter 9 is so short!
1. Chapter One: Aizen

Cats Have 9 Lives

A fun idea I came up with at one in the morning, where a character based off of me gives her opinions about the Espada, Las Noches, whatever. Set in the arc where Orihime gets saved from Las Noches ('cause that's all I've watched so far.) _**NO**_ PLOT CHANGES OR ROMANCE!

(By the way, I don't own Bleach)

CHAPTER 1, START!

It was safe to say that Neko was excited to be working for the Espada. Granted, she was just an errand girl, performing miscellaneous odd jobs for each of the ten Espada.

At least she was caught up on all the gossip, and got to watch some pretty epic fights—or at least treat the wounded. Whatever.

At the moment, Neko was lugging around large boxes of furniture she had to put together for some new recruit or something. Neko didn't mind carrying furniture around, but the least the residents of Hueco Mundo could do was buy from IKEA, where the furniture was lighter and easier to assemble—not to mention innovative. The boxes she was lugging were filled with crap from Goodwill, the Hueco Mundo division.

Neko was still in shock that heartless beasts would love donating and discounts that much.

Anyway, Neko was on her way to the new recruit's room, whistling, her cat-ears that was her Hollow mask atop her black haired head perking upon hearing Lord Aizen's voice. Oh shoot. She knew she shouldn't have taken the main hallway.

"Come and work for us, Orihime*. Do that, and your friends will live. Isn't that what you want for them?"

_Ooh, gossip_. Neko set her boxes down and leaned into the nearest wall, trying to listen as well as she could without getting caught. She strained her ears as she waited for an answer from "Orihime."

"Yes sir, Lord Aizen." Another pause. "I am yours to command, body and soul.**

Neko stifled a laugh at the connotations the feminine voice gave, even if it sounded rather unwilling.

Then she remembered her duties of having to put together furniture and set it up. Neko scurried away, her thoughts making assumptions of Aizen and the new recruit all on their own.

_I Am A Page Break, Love Me_

"You called for me, Lord Aizen?" The small, green-eyed, black haired girl with a cat-eared mask (though it looked more like a headband)*** asked timidly.

"Yes, Neko, my only Arrancar without the ability to fight," Aizen answered, annoyance from remembered times clear in his voice.

"Well, I make a darned good packrat!" She answered with a grin, trying to diffuse the awkwardness of the situation.

"Yes, but a terrible assembler of furniture. Lady Orihime's couch collapsed the moment she sat on it."

"Oh, sorry… Wait, is that the new recruit?" Neko asked.

"Indeed she is. What of it?" Aizen answered with a sneer.

"Well, I just heard a snippet of your conversation with her earlier… Nothing important, I promise!" The Arrancar waved her hands in front of her face, fearing yet another punishment.

"And?"

"Well, it seemed sort of like she was kidnapped, you know?"

"The situation _is_ rather similar…" Aizen acquiesced.

At that moment, every single stupid and untrue assumption Neko had previously made seemed to be correct.

"That's kind of sad…" Neko mused.

"Having her kidnapped was the right decision, believe me," the overlord explained. "Because—"

"No, I mean the fact that _kidnapping _someone is the only way you can get any action around here. I mean, well, c'mon, you're pretty powerful, right? You should at least be able to—"

_Splat._

**Number of Lives Left: 8**

*I don't know the dialogue by heart, just remembering the vague details.

** Now this I remember her saying.

***Had to explain what she looked like somehow, right? XD

So, how do you like? Please review!


	2. Chapter Two: Grimmjow

Cats Have 9 Lives Chapter 2

Please note that "Neko" means cat, so… yeah.

(I don't own Bleach, by the way.)

CHAPTER 2, START!

Neko enjoyed her job of being the leader of the Cleaning and Caring For A Whole Assortment of Miscellaneous Things (CCFAWAMT) squad, disregarding the fact that she was the only member.

Sometimes though, she felt rather lonely.

…But that subject shall be saved for another time. Currently, she was doing her most hated job: serving tea at the Espada meetings. This was where the snooty highest-ups came together and, well, basically just drank a lot of tea and bitched about how powerful they were, how humans were so beneath them, blah blah blah.

Neko knew because, through the torture of having to serve hot beverages to circus freaks, (though in comparison to some hollows she's seen, these guys were fashion models. Hell, some of them could probably manage a pretty decent pay in the fashion industry.) She had a nasty habit of eavesdropping.

Her cat-eared Arrancar mask wasn't just for show; she had a pretty decent pair of ears. Using her beloved cat ears, Neko heard Szayel Aporro Granz mutter, "How did this lowly incompetent girl even manage to gain herself a two digit number in our ranks?"

"Well, that's an interesting story, Master Granz," Neko began, much to the shock of the Espada and Lord Aizen, who could have sworn that he had killed that girl already.

"Shut your mouth, brat," Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez barked towards the insolent servant. Then again, he thought, she really was absolutely useless. How exactly _did _she manage to pass the Arrancar Test*?

"No, no, let her speak. I am curious as to how trash like her managed to even become a lowly servant to Lord Aizen's great cause," the pink-haired man spoke, waving his hand towards Neko in a gesture for her to continue.

So, the lowly number 99 had managed to capture the attention of not only the Espada, but Lord Aizen. Inwardly, she puffed with pride, ignoring the snide remarks coming from the eighth Espada.

"Basically what happened was that Masters Ggio Vega and Choe Neng Poww were assigned to chase and fight me to see just how powerful I was," Neko spoke, as if she were talking to a close friend, to the impressed Espadas.

"Yup!" Neko smirked, her ego growing, basking in the grunts of acknowledgement from the powerful Arrancars.

"They collapsed before I finished my test—I managed to run away from them for three straight weeks!"

Silence.

After about a minute of awkwardness, Neko swept her eyes around the room to find that the powerful Espadas were all glaring at her with looks of contempt and disappointment.

"Glad I didn't have to watch that one," Neko heard Lord Aizen whisper.

"Just… Just get us our tea," Tia Harribel muttered, waving the lowly Arrancar away.

"Yes Ma'am," the cat-eared Arrancar breathed, deflated. She proceeded to set the table and watch the large screen at the front of the room as its lights dimmed.

The screen depicted the typical image of Hueco Mundo: white sand, pale moon, black sky… Orange hair? Neko looked closer at the video being shown to find that there was an entire group of humans running towards the palace of Las Noches. To Neko, the group looked rather weak and uninteresting compared to the great Espada.

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez seemed to think otherwise, based on his reaction to the close-up shot of the orange-haired man. His eyes widened, a look of shock on his face, his hand reaching for his zanpakuto.

At that moment, Neko knew exactly what was going on. Upon being later questioned, Neko would explain that she had tried her very best to hold it in, but Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez was just _asking _for it.

What is _it_, you ask, dear reader? _It _is the momentary lapse in the (very little) self control Neko had to brag about—a statement spoken, simply, at the wrong place, and at the wrong time:

"Grimmjow now watches the screen filled with only the face of his greatest source of confusion," Neko began, eyes sparkling, ignoring the shocked and confused faces of the rest of the Espada and Lord Aizen, not to mention a horrified Grimmjow.

"The face that leaves Master Grimmjow so very confused as to his feelings toward the boy on the screen."

Yes. Neko was narrating. Of all bad habits, this was undoubtedly her worst and unequivocally her most annoying one.

"Is it hatred of his bleached orange hair? Is it jealousy that the powerful Arrancar cannot achieve that hairstyle himself? No…"

The Espada were listening intently, through their now horrified expressions; and Grimmjow's face was the color of his bone-white mask. "It's…" The silence was nearly tangible, "it's LUUUUUUUURVE! The one and only emotion that—"

_BOOM. _

The red light of a Cero was slowly fading away, from the hand a certain livid Espada with sky blue hair. It was shot point-blank.

It is rumored that mysterious clapping and cheering could be heard from the meeting room of the Espada that day; though none of the lower ranks could ever guess the reason for applause.

**Number of Lives Left: 7**

* Pullin' that one out of my magic bag of tricks**

** In other words, it's a load of BS.

How do you like? I had so much fun writing this one! Be prepared for the next chapter! Review please!


	3. Chapter Three: Ulquiorra

Cats Have 9 Lives Chapter 3

Author's Note: I got a review! Yay! As an answer to that one reviewer, let me just explain that Neko's number of lives will probably go into the negatives by the time I complete this fic, so, yeah. Onto the reading!

CHAPTER 3, START!

Neko was right about to bring food—soup that looked like the illegitimate love child of mucus and the ninth Espada, Aaroniero Arruruerie— to the newcomer, Lady Orihime. In truth, she was sort of excited—she was going to finally meet the girl everyone was talking about! She hoped that the famous woman would be nice, at least. Oh, maybe she'd even thank her for putting together her furniture!

Then again, maybe she was as mean as those Numbered Arrancars that follow Lord Aizen around have said. Well, she could always spit in Lady Orihime's food, right?

Finally, Neko was at the door. Gulping, she risked a knock. To her surprise, it was Master Ulquiorra Cifer who opened the door.

Wow, Lady Orihime really _was _as pampered as Loly and Menoly said.

"Come in." Ulquiorra spoke, glaring daggers (_as usual,_ Neko thought) at the 99th Arrancar.

"Yes sir," she muttered back, before finally seeing the person she wanted to meet. She finally looked at her, and—

_Orange!_ Neko thought, smiling at the color of her hair. Reminded her of that intruder that Master Grimmjow was on love with.*

"Hello… Lady Orihime?" Neko asked, earning another glare from Ulquiorra. Yeah, she wasn't supposed to talk to the new recruits, she knew, but this person actually seemed nice (And she had to see whether or not she would enjoy spitting in her soup.)!

"Hello, little miss," The orange-haired human answered, "what's your name?"

_She asked my name! She's nice!_ "N-Neko," she replied with a shrug, setting down her tray of food (mucus). "I put your furniture together… well, twice. Sorry it collapsed the first time."

"Oh, it's alright, it didn't—"

"I told them they shouldn't have gone to the Goodwill, that they should have gone to IKEA! But they didn't listen to me," Neko defended, earning another scathing glare from Ulquiorra and a confused look from Orihime.

"Oh… well, it's fine. How about you sit down for a while and we can talk?" the human asked, with a glance to Ulquiorra to check if Neko's visiting was okay.

A nod came from the statue of an Arrancar. _Hey, that would be a nice nickname… Statue…_

"I didn't get to thank you for building these couches for me," Orihime smiled.

"Oh, well, it's my job, so…" Neko responded, snapping from her thoughts. "I'm surprised you're so comfortable. Sitting on Hollow furniture usually gives me the willies." _Like right now, _she thought, trying to rub away the goose bumps on her arm.

"Hollow furniture?**" Orihime echoed.

"Yeah, you know; if you turn this couch over on its side, you'll find that it has a hole in the bottom. Proof that it had a soul. How else do you think that couches and inanimate objects get to Hueco Mundo?"

Silence.

Orihime's eyes were wide with confusion, making her look somewhat like a lost dog.

"So it's like sitting on the dead," Neko spoke into the awkwardness. _I think I just made it worse._

"Well, I'd ought to be going. I have to deliver supplies for Master Granz's experiments, so, bye!"

Orihime stood up to bid Neko goodbye as the 99th Arrancar was led out the door by the fourth.

Neko noticed that she didn't sit back down.

_Good choice, _she commended inwardly.

As the door closed, Ulquiorra stood in silence, his eyes still cold and livid.

"So, how's the weather?" Neko asked.

…He started walking away.

"You know, you could've at _least_ joined in the conversation. You two seem to be close," Neko commented, walking in stride with the fourth Espada.

She earned herself another glare as Ulquiorra quickened his pace and sped away.

Now that was just rude.

"You know," she yelled at the quickly disappearing Espada, "I finally figured out your super power." The pale man stopped and turned toward her, a glint of curiosity in his eyes.

"Your emo powers enable you to make the color white depressing!"

…

_Splatter._

**Number of Lives Left: 6**

*Neko still thinks that, even after getting a Cero in the face.

** My own personal twist.


	4. Chapter Four: Mystery Character!

Cats Have 9 Lives Chapter 4

Author's note: …Can I have some reviews? They're like food and water to writers. I'm on the verge the verge of review starvation. T_T… At least I like writing this story, so it doesn't matter, right?

CHAPTER 4, START!

Neko was stuck with the duty of checking on those whiny Privaron Espada. She'd drawn the short straw at that morning's servant's meeting. The worst part? She was the only one there.

"Now, I believe I take that path to Chocolate (pronounced Cho-cô-la-tay)," She muttered to herself, nicknaming the Privaron Espada with the heavy Spanish accent.

She walked on before soon hearing shouting from far behind her.

"And we swear to come back here alive!" came a rough voice filled with confidence.

…Huh? She then remembered that there were supposed to be intruders somewhere around that area.

…_Aw, hell. _

Neko scurried ever faster over to Chocolat-ay (Also known as Dordonii Alessandro Del Socacchio), down into the dark depths of one of the tall hallways. _I wonder how much it would take to renovate this place?_ She thought as she neared Chocolat-ay's quarters.

_I AM PAGE BREAK, HEAR ME ROAR!_

"Heya, Chocolat-ay!" yelled a smiling Arrancar.

"Hola niña, it's been a while," called the Privaron with a smirk.

"It has indeed, friend!" Neko agreed.

"We really have some catching up to do, huh?" Chocolat-ay asked.

"Yeah, we do! So, how are you? Tip-top shape to guard Las Noches, I presume?"

"I am! I've also been developing some new yoga poses, and—"

"'Kay, bye." She had what she needed to know.

_Next up, Mister Kelly!_

Shortly after that, on her way to seeing the next whining Privaron Espada, Neko heard ominous screaming and the clashing of metal.

_This check-up's gonna be a quick one then. _

_I AM PAGE BREAK, HEAR ME ROAR!_

"Heya, Jim!" Neko called. "How are you—"

"For the last time, I'm not Jim Kelly."

"Alright, alright. So anyway, how are you and your fro?" Neko yelled toward Gantenbainne Mosqueda, the Privaron.

"Fine. Now get out."

"Sounds great! Bye." She left the star studded seventies movie star alone.

_You know what? I'm just gonna skip the next one._

So, Neko was done, and was considering what she'd have for lunch when…

"Hey kid, what are you doing here?" asked a spiky orange-haired teen.

"I'm doing plenty of things: I'm standing, breathing, digesting last night's dinner, check—"

"No, I mean, this place is dangerous. I'm already pretty beat up, and I've only fought one guy."

"Oh, that sucks," Neko muttered, thinking that she had seen that face somewhere before, "here, have some of this; it should help!" Neko was holding out a vial of green liquid that always helped heal her wounds from battles—especially those darned paper cuts.

"Oh. Thanks, kid," the man said, before he downed the liquid.

"I know it only helps with the weak stuff, like bruises, but it takes the edge off, right?" Neko asked, feeling benevolent.

"Yeah! Thanks, kid."

"Oh, no problem. So, I've never seen you before. Whatcha doin' here, in Privaron land?"

"Nel can answer that!" called a tiny young girl who leapt out from behind the teen.

"Itsugo's looking for his friend!" she shouted, looking admiringly up at the teen.

"I see. Very noble of you, mister Itsugo." Neko commended.

"Wait, that's not actually my name, it's—"

"Well, I have to continue with my job. Bye, hope you find your friend!" Neko waved as she walked (backwards) away, leaving the teen to wonder just what a kid like her was doing in Las Noches.

She then got a nice mouthful of floor.

_Note to self: don't walk backwards. _

Well, at least Neko could tell her buddy Wonderweiss that she'd helped a stranger. She already knew what he would say: _"Wondahweiss… Wonnaweiss!"_

She was so proud.

It was then that she spotted the tenth Espada. "Why, hello, master Riyalgo!" she greeted with a smile. _I wonder how he fits through our doors, _she idly thought.

"Hn," he replied, passing her by. But Neko wasn't satisfied with that—she had to tell him of her competence!

"Guess what happened today, sir!" Neko tried.

Yammy started walking faster. "I helped heal someone today! He even said thank you! He was this nice orange-haired teen with—"

This got Yammy's attention. He swiveled his hulking frame around to face the lowly 99th, a menacing scowl plastered to his face.

"Orange?" he asked.

"Yes sir!" Neko nodded, grinning. So this was someone Master Yammy knew! She just knew she'd be rewarded. 

"Was he wearing lots of black?" Yammy's scowl deepened.

"Mmhmm!" Neko beamed.

"Was he saying that he was looking for a friend?" Yammy's voice began to sound rough and menacing.

Too bad Neko didn't notice.

"Yeah! How'd you know?" Neko was nearly sparkling with pride.

"That's the enemy."

_Oh. _Neko almost visibly deflated, paling and slumping her shoulders.

"So… that means I'm… in trouble?"

Yammy smirked sadistically.

_Crunch. _

**Number of Lives Left: 5**

I kinda feel bad about writing that one. Oh well. Don't worry, the next one will be better. So, please (PLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASE!) review! (DX)


	5. Chapter Five: Pink Death and Suspicions

Cats Have 9 Lives Chapter 5

**Author's Note: I got another review! Hurray for childish excitement! **

**Also, I don't own Bleach. Try to imagine what would happen if I did. See? It's not pretty. **

**CHAPTER 5, START!**

"Why can't I just die now?" Neko muttered to herself as she realized that she had not completed her job of checking on the Privaron Espada. She still had Miss Sandwich to deal with.

"Hi, Miss Sanderwicci," Neko called toward the tall red pillars she knew the Privaron must have been on top of.

No answer. Neko knew the drill. "Okay, I know you're okay. Bye!"

… She really hated that girl. As she walked out back into the dark and ominous hallways, she heard the sounds of metal clanging, buzzing, and screams.

_You know, I really need to clean my nails, _Neko thought, oblivious to the battle, spotting grime underneath her usually pristine fingernails.

One Epic Battle and Nail Cleaning Later

"Excuse me?" called a skinny boy from behind Neko.

"Oh, hello. Is there something you two need?" she asked the boy and the scrawny Hollow behind him.

"No, ah… just… trying to figure out… what exactly is a child like you doing here?" asked the bespectacled teen.

"Well that's obvious, Ichigo!" called the Hollow. "She's an Arrancar!"

"Yup!" Neko agreed, pointing to her cat ears. "I'm a servant to Lord Aizen's cause—so, is there somewhere you need to go? I can help you find it if you want."

"That's alright, I believe I can find my own way around here," Glasses-boy stated, pressing his glasses farther up his nose for effect. He even dared to give poor Neko a cold glare!

"Hey! What was that for? I was only trying to help!" she called after the receding figures. _Hmph. I hope those jerk faces get turned into one of Master Granz's experiments! _

After that, she pretty much just wandered around the home of the Privarons aimlessly, occasionally running into a girl with black hair. She seemed nice. 

That was until she encountered the red pineapple.

"Hey, pineapple man! Are you lost?" Neko called towards a man with strange tattoos and… a totem pole?

"No! I'm not! I'm fine, and I know exactly where I'm going!" He screamed.

_Someone has anger issues. _

"Okay, but isn't that—"

Pineapple Man and Totem Pole fell right into one of Master Granz's traps.

Neko proceeded to whistle innocently and walk away.

Again, more wandering. She was starting to get bored when she once again heard the cries of battle. _Oh, this is where Master Granz's traps led to! Pineapple Man and Totem Pole must be down here. _

It was then that she heard a loud zap, and saw from her distance a pale blue light. _Ooh. That doesn't look good. _

From a nearby hidden closet, Neko grabbed some first aid supplies.

As she hurried to the scene of the fight, large white box in hand, Neko noticed a shirtless pink-haired man followed by only one of his fracción.

"Hello, sir! I saw the explosion and wondered if you would like some first ai—"

"No," Szayel Aporro Granz whispered harshly with a scathing glare.

"Alrighty then, Master Granz," Neko stated, beginning to follow him.

She then heard the eighth Espada mutter something along the lines of: "Why, that little Quincy, with his…" A ringing suddenly went off in Neko's ears, leaving her unable to hear the rest of the eighth Arrancar's er… "colorful" mutterings.

"So, tell me Master Granz, what is the name of your zanpakuto?" Neko asked, trying to make conversation.

"Fornicarás*," he answered gruffly, not even giving the 99th Arrancar a second look. "Though its meaning is lost to a lowly mind like yours."

"Yes. You're right," Neko deadpanned. "So, what does it mean?"

One Explanation Later

"Master Granz?"

"Hmm?"

"For the love of god, never, _ever _let me see your released form."

"Of course. Now, as for a change of topic, I believe I saw Grimmjow release a Cero point blank at your own head… I even performed an autopsy on your bloodied corpse."

Neko paled, fearing the question that came next.

"How exactly is it that you stand with me now, alive, and better yet, with not even the single smallest scar?" The Espada's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Ah… Ha… Details, details!" Neko shouted, a frozen smile fixed on her face. "It's not like I'd actually pretend to be less powerful than I actually am or anything…" the pink haired Espada raised an eyebrow, "I just…"

Neko then did what she usually did when she was terrified: say the dumbest thing possible, the very six words that ensured certain death when dealing with the eighth Espada:

"I know something that you don't and—"

_Splurt. _

"Oops… I wanted to experiment on her, too… Oh well."

**Number of Lives Left: 4**

*Bleach wiki it. I'm not going to explain it to you, it's that messed up.

So, yep! That was chapter four, hope you liked it! I sure enjoyed writing this one. I always love how Neko manages to miss all the action. 

Oh, by the way, there's a twist at the end of this fic.

Please review! The button's right there, just waiting for you to click it. 


	6. Chapter Six: WTF Hoodie

Cats Have 9 Lives Chapter 6

**I don't own Bleach, though I think you could have guessed that. **

**CHAPTER SIX, START!**

Neko was quickly getting tired of dealing with the ruined part of Las Noches palace. The hallways felt to long, stairways far too steep… the problems could go on and on.

At least she got to meet some nice people—especially her supposed enemies! Neko was seriously considering joining the soul society's side of the battle.

Not to mention the fact that Szayel Aporro Granz was getting suspicious. _Oh well, right? _Neko thought, beginning her trudge through the desert sands. She, unfortunately, had to take the accursed sandy shortcut to the central, more used part of Las Noches.

It was then that she heard the sound of a defeated enemy.

She turned to the left to find that the fifth Espada, Nnoitra Jiruga (inwardly she called him What-the-fudge-hoodie) was walking away from what Neko assumed was a defeated enemy.

"Why is it that no one can fight me as an equal? When will I find someone more powerful than me?" the whiny fifth Espada shouted to his fracción, Tesla.

Neko came closer, an answer settling at the tip of her tongue.

"Where do I have to go to find someone who can fight me as an equal? Who is more powerful than me?"

"Jeez, Lord Jiruga, if you want your butt kicked so bad, just look down the ranks of the Espada!" Neko answered, hands on her hips.

In retrospect, mouthing off to an annoyed Espada wasn't really the smartest thing to do. On the other hand, Neko isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed*.

Nnoitra Jiruga stuck his tongue out, a large five showing in Neko's direction.

BLAM.

As golden light receded, the fracción Tesla quietly muttered, "well done, my lord."

**Number of Lives Left: 3**

*Thank you, Shrek, Smashmouth. (Hopin' I spelled that right.)

**Sorry this one was short! **** the next chapter will be both longer and better! Oh, and I won't be updating tomorrow; 4****th**** of July party. I'm also drawing a picture of Neko, so readers can imagine her more easily. I'll post a link to it on my profile once it's scanned and posted on the internet. All I need is scanner—a minor detail. ;) **


	7. Chapter Seven: Curious and Curiouser

Cats Have 9 Lives Chapter 7

**Aww, only a couple chapters left! I'll be kinda sad when this story is over… but I've already started another one, so… yeah! In this one, the mystery begins! This one is a little slow, (And only half of it is funny) but I made it that way on purpose for some extra suspense! **

Neko was exhausted. She had a long day that day: helping the enemy, faking her death, dealing with mean jerk faces, faking her death again, mouthing off to superiors (again) and faking her death… again.

It was evening in Las Noches, proved only by the arrows on clocks, the soft snores of Arrancars heard throughout the palace, and the eerie lack of servants hurrying through the halls. It was a nighttime created by Lord Aizen himself.

Neko was getting rather tired of all the secrecy that surrounded all the faking of her deaths. _Oh well_, she thought to herself as she quietly tiptoed to the Las Noches palace kitchen, thirsty for a nice cup of tea. She wouldn't let herself be found out just yet.

Grabbing a mug from the nearest high pantry, and a teabag from a lower one, Neko poured water into a teapot and set it on a burner, turning it on.

She exhaled slowly, forcing her body to relax.

"Hey," a gruff voice called, scaring Neko nearly out of her skin: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez.

"Good evening," she spoke, her voice oozing with maturity.

The sixth Espada leaned against the nearest counter with a lazy air, feral eyes fixed on the 99th Arrancar. Neko ignored the obvious staring, her own eyes trained only on the silent teapot.

"Granz is looking for you. He's starting to think you're more powerful than you let on."

"Is that so?" Neko asked quietly, her back still turned to the powerful Arrancar.

"Yep," Grimmjow pushed himself away from the counter. "And I'm starting to believe him." He stalked slowly to the other side of the kitchen where Neko stood, her back still to him, in silence.

"I see," she answered, her eyes still cast downwards. The time for Neko to leave was coming.

"You're hardly the same ditzy kid I blasted with a cero," Grimmjow commented, leaning close. Neko stepped away.

"Believe what you choose to," she answered, still averting her eyes.

"You've been hiding your actual power for a long time, huh?" he asked, taking another step closer.

The 99th Arrancar stayed silent.

"What are you?" he asked.

The teapot whistled, and Neko stepped past the sixth Espada and gently poured the boiling water into her mug, grabbing her tea bag. "Would you like some tea?" she offered.

"Nah, I just wanted a midnight snack," Grimmjow retorted, opening the refrigerator beginning to rummage through it.

"Your loss," Neko muttered, lifting the tea to her lips, blowing softly. "So, master Grimmjow, tell me of this Ichigo Kurosaki boy you despise so much."

"What about him?" the teal haired Espada asked, half his body immersed in the refrigerator, still scavenging for food.

"Why do you hate him so much?" she inquired. The Espada seemed to find what he was looking for and stepped away from the fridge, a box of Chinese takeout in one hand, a pair of chopsticks in the other. He glared down at the smaller girl in front of him.

"It's those damned eyes. I can't stand 'em. It's like he thinks he can beat me even when he's dying on the ground," Grimmjow whispered, his eyes narrowed.

"I think that's just called determination," Neko commented.

"No… he thinks he's better than me. _That's_ why I can't stand him."

"You make it seem as if life is a rank," Neko pointed out, still sipping her tea. Grimmjow snorted, but otherwise stayed silent.

"People are either lower than you or higher than you. That _is _life," Grimmjow finally answered.

"Think what you will, higher or lower. To me, you are no higher or lower; you're only Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, and I am Neko. _That _is life."

"I'll keep that in mind," Grimmjow answered, again leaning against a counter, devouring his greasy noodles.

Neko sighed into her now empty mug of tea, before setting it in the dishwasher and exiting the kitchen. "Goodnight, master Jaegerjaquez," she muttered quietly.

And Grimmjow stood alone in the dark kitchen, left to ponder all he had learned that night.

"Goooood morning, Lady Harribel!" saluted a grinning Neko, at the bedside of the third Espada.

"Hello, Neko," the blonde responded quietly. Neko always liked Lady Harribel; she was always so kind and benevolent.

"So, what do we have in store today, my lady?"

"… We will be guarding the southern side terrace. You may fetch us tea and snacks throughout the day."

"And by 'we,' I'm guessing that you mean you and your fracción?" Neko asked.

"Of course," Tia Harribel replied, her eyes smiling.

Soon enough, the third Espada, her fracción consisting of Mila-Rose, Apache, and Sun-Sun, and the 99th Arrancar were "guarding" the southern side terrace.

…In other words, they were enjoying the nice blue skies and warm sunlight.

… sort of.

"Shut the hell up!" Apache screamed at Mila-Rose.

"Oh, honestly, you can't expect to be good at any—" Mila-Rose began.

"Girls!" Sun-Sun shouted with a smirk. "Please, stop acting so weak in front of Lady Harribel; it is oh so embarrassing!" she laughed, covering her mouth.

"Tell me, Ladies!" Neko jumped onto the railing, trying to put a stop to the arguing. "What kind of—"

"Shut up!" Apache snarled, glancing at Neko's lack of balance at such a dangerous height.

"Hey, I may not be that powerful, but at least I'm not a freaking unicorn, I mean really, how can—waah!"

_Push. _

**Number of Lives Left: 2**

Yay, only three chapters left! It's going to be awesome! :) Thank you, readers! I'm glad people have actually kept up with this fanfic into the seventh chapter. Once again, thank you!


	8. Chapter Eight: Pasts Mostly Revealed

**Cats Have 9 Lives Chapter 8**

**A/N: I dedicate this chapter to kiwi () (The funny stuff, not the depressing stuff) for her AMAZING reviews! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.**

**CHAPTER EIGHT, START!**

Once again it was late at night, and Neko was enjoying her tea out on a far away terrace, and once again Grimmjow appeared, as if straight from the darkness. Neko merely nodded quietly in his direction as he stalked up beside her.

"Hueco Mundo is rather beautiful in surreal sort of way," Neko remarked, looking out at the inky black sky and the bone white sand.

"I suppose," Grimmjow muttered quietly, leaning on the railing of the terrace. "But to me it just seems too _colorless_," he sneered. "I kinda prefer the World of the Living."

"To each their own, I believe," Neko smiled, raising her cup of tea.

"What are you?" Grimmjow asked for the second time. Again, Neko stayed silent. "C'mon, tell me. You know I won't let you get in trouble, kid."

Again, there was silence, with Neko only sipping her tea and watching the landscape. After about a minute, she whispered, "this kinship, this friendship that is developing… be prepared to lose that… at any moment."

Grimmjow quirked a confused eyebrow. "What are talking about? I just wanna know. We're not friends, it's more like a, a mystery, I guess you could call it. That's what makes you interesting, kid."

"Believe what you will," Neko spoke, before she sipped the remnants of her tea.

"I'm gonna take that as 'you're not gonna tell me?'" Grimmjow guessed.

"Your skills of deduction are impressive," Neko smiled jokingly.

"Yeah, thanks…" Grimmjow pouted, crossing his arms. Neko yawned quietly, gaining another strange look from the sixth Espada. "You should probably get some sleep," he pointed out.

"Ugh," Neko shuddered inwardly, "no. I hate sleeping; or at least the act of falling asleep. This," she raised her now empty teacup, "is merely a second form of procrastination."

"Why do you hate falling asleep?" Grimmjow asked, for once genuinely curious. Neko looked again at the colorless landscape, her lips a tight line, her eyes… sad.

"Right when you're falling asleep," she whispered quietly, "the very last thought you tend to have is a question of whether or not you are happy. Content. I merely hate lying to myself every night. That's why I procrastinate. "

Grimmjow kept his eyes on his hands, not knowing what to say. "Speaking of procrastination," Neko murmured, beginning to walk away, "I should be getting to bed."

"Wait!" Grimmjow shouted, grabbing the small girl's wrist. "Um, uh, procrastinate a little longer, 'kay?" he asked, confused as to _why _he grabbed the 99th Arrancar's wrist.

"Is that an _order_, Master Grimmjow?" Neko smirked.

"Ah… yeah. That's an order," he smiled.

"Alright then," she grinned, retaking her place at the edge of the terrace. "What should we procrastinate about?"

"Tell me how you became a hollow," Grimmjow blurted, before covering his mouth. Where had _that _come from? "I mean… you just seem so happy and cheerful most of the time, and you're also so wise and modest, I just… well…" he stopped when he realized Neko had stiffened, her hands clenched into fists, her face pale.

"There was once," Neko growled through clenched teeth, "someone who did something _absolutely _unforgivable, that ultimately ended up with me _dead_," the girl was physically _baring_ her teeth at that point, "and, when I was a spirit, about to go to the Soul Society, I was halfway into turning into a hollow myself… and when I asked the Soul Reaper who was going to send me there where the certain _someone_ went…"

Grimmjow paled, surprised at how… terrifying the girl looked as she glared at the landscape with pure _hate_. "What happened?" he whispered.

"The Soul Reaper had told me that the _bastard_ had gone on to the Soul Society, where he was living happily in one of the most _extravagant palaces_…" Neko ground out, before she took a deep breath, trying to control her anger. As she exhaled, she felt herself calm down.

"And then, I just… broke. The poor Soul Reaper never came home from her little mission," Neko shook her head.

"Wow." Grimmjow said quietly, surprised that the little girl actually had so much _anger. _He wondered what the guy must have done to her to make the Arrancar _hate _him so much. He knew, though, that it wouldn't be right to ask.

"Yeah," Neko whispered sadly. "But I know I shouldn't be angry anymore. The man _was _my father, after all," she spoke, slipping away and off to bed, leaving a pale and horrified Grimmjow alone to ponder what he had learned.

**THE NEXT MORNING…**

Neko sighed. She was _not_ looking forward to the day ahead. She had to work with the "king." In other words, she had to deal with being called "an ant not worth my time," for the rest of the day. Another sigh escaped Neko's lips. Whatever, right?

"Hello, sir!" a cheerful Neko called to the rather large Espada.

Baraggan merely nodded, not even glancing towards the 99th Arrancar.

"A beautiful day here, hmm Master Luisenbarn?" Neko asked, trying to strike conversation. It was then that the second Arrancar outright _ignored _her.

In a huff, Neko put her hands on her hips. "So," she began, "tell me about when you were a king. What was it like?" she asked, cocking her head.

And, to Neko's surprise, the elderly Espada actually smiled. "Well," he wheezed, "I was bowed down to… everywhere I went. I followed no orders; no, it was _me _who gave orders and punishments…" he stared wistfully off into space. "I was the most powerful in all of Hueco Mundo…"

"Well," Neko corrected, "technically, you were _still _the second most powerful… ah," Neko said, as she realized that she felt a lot _slower_ than average…

_Crrrrrrruuuuuuuuuunnnnnch. _

**Number of Lives Left: 1**

A/N: Okay! That's the end of the chapter, folks! I hope you enjoyed it—and sorry about all the depressing stuff. BUT, I did make it into a mystery, so I hope you like! By the way, I wrote this chapter all in ONE NIGHT. I feel so proud and exhausted at the same time. Yay!


	9. Chapter 9: The Worst Idea Yet

**Cats Have 9 Lives Chapter 9**

**Oh, by the way, there's one chapter left. Yeah.**

**Anyway, let the story begin!**

**CHAPTER START!**

Neko was on her way to visit Orihime when, right outside the captive's door, she noticed a large gaping hole. _I see Grimmjow came to visit_, the 99th Arrancar thought to herself, wondering exactly _what _his IQ was.

It was then that she stepped in to find… no one; just the room which was trashed, and… all of the furniture that she assembled, ripped and torn. If she still had her heart, it would have hurt.

Neko felt as if she was experiencing some sort of phantom pain.

Stepping quietly out the door, wondering where her kind friend was, Neko heard the laughter of two more Arrancars: Loly and Menoly.

How she detested those bullies.

"I can't believe Master Grimmjow actually took that bitch hostage!" Loly cackled.

"It'll be nice to see her realize her place," Menoly laughed in return. "I hope he beats her more than _we _did!" Neko's eyes widened, and hairs on the back of her neck bristled as she realized that the two Números were chatting idly about the ill fate of Neko's only friend.

Blind fury settled in the pit of the girl's stomach. Her dislike for the two petty Arrancars was beginning to morph into hate.

But it wasn't the time for that… Neko wasn't ready to depart from Las Noches. Besides, she still had plenty of chores left to do.

She mopped the kitchen floors, keeping her eyes firmly shut, trying not to focus on the simmering, burning _hate_.

It was then that she heard the sound of a small explosion. Shrugging, the girl went back to her manual labor, her mind now too curious about the blast to think about the inhumanly cruel Números.

With the disappearance of Lady Orihime, thanks to Grimmjow, Neko gleaned from Loly's and Menoly's conversation, Neko guessed it was him who was making the racket.

Neko smirked at the guess, knowing that she was probably right. It was then that she heard the shrieking blare of the emergency meeting alarms.

While all the other Arrancars merely ignored the call, Neko zipped off to prepare the tea that she would inevitably have to serve.

Such was life.

Ten cups of steaming tea on the tray she was carrying, Neko quietly tip-toed through the already started meeting. She noticed that each and every Espada, even Aizen, was glowing…

Neko, in her endless obliviousness, tried to dispel the gloomy mood by doing what she thought was something funny: "Hey, everyone!"

The Espada turned to the girl, confused.

"So… uh," Neko realized that no good puns were coming to her…_Oh well, might as well take the plunge…_ "Raise your hand if you're straight!" Neko held her own hand high, while the Espada and captain Aizen merely stared in confusion.

"Ah, I see…" Neko muttered, nodding. "You know? That explains _so _much; I mean, _now _I get why master Granz just looks so darned—"

_**Boom.**_

_**Crash.**_

_**Splatter.**_

The room that was once the Espada's meeting place was in shambles, the chairs overturned, the table a heap of ashes.

Mysteriously, there was one charred Neko-sized spot that every attack seemed to have been aimed at.

**Number of Lives Left: ****0**

**Wow, only one chapter left! I can't believe it's almost DONE… Wow. xD**


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